Your beliefs about money may reveal clues about your relationship

Everyone has their own beliefs about money. What it is, how much it is needed, how to use it. However, a new study from researchers at BYU says that personal beliefs about money are also shaping the health of your relationship.

In a recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Professor Ashley Lebaron-Black of BYU and her colleagues examined how these beliefs (which called “money scripts”) affect couples’ financial communication and relationship satisfaction.

“Some therapists evaluate clients’ money scripts to help individuals and couples improve their relationship with money, mental health and marriage,” said Lebaron-Black.

They analyzed individuals’ attitudes towards money and grouped them into four general categories used by other researchers.

Money Avoidance – Money trust is bad or corrupt. It focuses on money. This makes you want more money and equate it with happiness. Money Status – The self-worth of trust comes from the amounts owned. Money Privacy – Thinking about money issues should not be discussed with others.

These categories, widely used in financial research, help identify how people relate to money. (Are you interested in your own money script? The scoring tool is available on pages 54-55.)

These money beliefs often take root in childhood and influence not only how we manage our finances, but also the way we think, feel and speak with others.

Using data from a national sample of 1,153 couples, the researchers determined both how similar the couple’s scores were to each other and the average scores of different partners for each of the different beliefs about money. The two partners then decided that overall similar or different beliefs were.

“When you’re having a hard time talking about money with your spouse, it’s important to find out if it’s actually about money: dollars and cents,” LeBaron Black said. “Maybe you’re having a hard time talking about money, because each of you thinks about it differently. It’s actually about deeper value and habits about money.”

Their findings revealed that couples who shared similar beliefs about money communicated more effectively about their finances and increased their marriage satisfaction.

“For those who are not yet married, look for financial compatibility while on a date,” advised LeBaron Black.

Of course, not all money beliefs are created equally. The study found that average level of financial level couples (believe that happiness can be purchased, but that money is not enough) suffered from poor financial communication and reduced marriage satisfaction.

People may not recognize it, but their attitude towards money can affect the way they talk to their partner, which affects how happy they are together. This study highlights the importance of economic compatibility and communication in maintaining healthy relationships and the impact our economic beliefs have on those relationships.

“If people find their materialism is too high and hurting relationships, they may be willing to rethink their priorities,” LeBaron Black said. “These scripts sit deeply and are difficult to change, but it’s possible to change them.”